


The Ghost Pepper Incident

by scarecrowstories



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 22:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19799314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarecrowstories/pseuds/scarecrowstories
Summary: Birds can't taste spice. Emissaries of the Raven Queen acquire this quirk. Upon discovering such, Lup decides to put her new talent to work pranking Taako with ghost peppers.





	The Ghost Pepper Incident

**Author's Note:**

> Someone on tumblr prompted me to provide a useless and silly headcanon and this was the first one that came to mind. I pitched it to the Discord, and well, here we are. Enjoy!

At first Lup thought for sure that she was imagining things. How could it be that she suddenly couldn't taste an entire flavor profile? She wanted to ask Barry about it but didn't know how to approach the topic without sounding strange. Did it start when they became liches and she just forgot? It had been a while since then, and maybe the last leg of their journey didn't present much opportunity, and…

No, wait, she thought. There was definitely a plane near the end where she had really baller spicy curry, and she could definitely taste that. So it must have been after. Maybe when they regrew her body something went wrong? If that was the case, maybe Barry would know something about it after all. Maybe he'd even experienced something similar when regrowing his own body.

That night while cleaning up after dinner, she cleared her throat to call his attention. He paused in his washing of dishes and looked over to her. "What's up, babe?"

Lup took a deep breath. "Is it normal for your senses to, like, come back a bit screwy? After you regrow a body?" 

He raised an eyebrow at her, trying to suppress his obvious concern. "Shit, maybe? What's wrong?"

"I can't taste spicy things anymore and it's been really fucking annoying," she admitted, crossing her arms. "Did you have anything like that? Like maybe your eyesight got a little weird and some colors look different now, or you can't stand the feeling of velcro, or something?"

Barry thought it over for a moment, turning back to the sink to finish washing up. "I'm not sure. Every time I grew a new body it had none of my memories, so if things were different, I don't think I'd have noticed." Another pause. "Okay, well, except this body, since I got my memories back. Uhh, hmmm." 

They finished tidying up and moved to the living room. When they were seated side by side, Barry threw an arm around her shoulders. "Actually, Lup, thinking about it, I don't think I can taste spice anymore either."

"Really?" she asked, relieved.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that dish Taako made for us last weekend was meant to be spicy, and to me it just… wasn't, I dunno. I thought maybe I'd just become resistant," he said with a laugh. "But also he seemed to be the only one who thought it was, right? Kravitz was fine, too, so I didn't think anything of it."

Lup gasped dramatically, thumping him on the arm playfully. "Barry! You genius!"

"What'd I say?" 

"Barry! Kravitz can't taste spice either! It's a Reaper thing!" She looked elated, a wide grin spreading across her face. "Don't you dare tell Taako about this! Babe, I'm gonna confirm with Kravitz and if we're right, I have an idea for the most epic prank." Jumping up from the couch she ran to grab her stone of farspeech, already calling Kravitz before Barry could say another word.

"Hello? Lup? Is everything okay?" Kravitz's voice came through the stone right away. She rarely called him instead of Taako, in the absence of an emergency.

Lup flopped back down onto the couch beside Barry. "Everything is wonderful, Krav. Listen, I have a question. What do you think about spicy foods?"

Kravitz didn't respond immediately; she hoped he wasn't talking to Taako in the background, spoiling her plans. "Umm, I've never really minded them, why?"

"Okay but, like, can you taste spiciness?"

"Not really, no." A moment of silence. "Oh, y'know what, though? I don't think about it a lot anymore because it's been so long, but it's something of a Reaper trait. You take on some qualities of the Raven Queen as her emissaries, and, well, birds can't taste spice." He laughed. "Sorry, I forgot about that until just now."

Barry opened his mouth to speak but Lup pressed a finger to his lips. "Fantastic, we'd figured it was something to do with the Reaper thing! I need you to promise not to tell Taako, okay?"

"Umm, okay? Why?" Kravitz's tone shifted to the practiced caution of a man who knew the twins well enough to recognize a scheme was afoot. 

Lup chuckled. "Oh, you know I can't tell you that, it'll ruin the fun! G'night!" And with that she hung up, still smiling wide as she turned to Barry. "Ready to hear the plan?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

During the following weekend's family dinner, Lup had set the stage for her scheme. She bought a bunch of ghost peppers earlier that day and brought them in a brown paper bag, telling Taako it was a surprise treat for later. After they'd all enjoyed their meal and were getting ready for dessert, she figured it was a good time to get the ball rolling.

"Pass me the bag?" she asked, pointing to where it sat on the counter. When it was placed in front of her, she turned it out onto the table in front of her, pointedly not looking to see her brother's expression as the peppers rolled to a stop. Without missing a beat, she picked one up and bit it in half before nonchalantly carrying on their conversation.

Barry joined in, picking one up and casually taking a large bite. He glanced over at Taako who was staring at them in horror. "Want some?" he offered, gesturing to the small pile of peppers. "There's enough for everyone."

Taako continued to stare, no longer paying attention to the conversation as Lup and Barry made their way through the ghost peppers. Kravitz must have caught on to their intent and decided to take one as well, continuing the conversation as if nothing had happened. Lup knew he'd be a good sport in the moment, so long as he wasn't given time to overthink the prank and spill the details to his husband.

"You're awfully quiet. Everything okay?" Lup asked, voice dripping with faux-concern. She picked up another pepper. This was going better than she could've dreamed.

Opening and closing his mouth several times, failing to make any sound, Taako pointed at them while shaking his head. "What the whole fuck, Lup?" He turned to point at Barry. "You've always been weird about food, so you I believe, and you," he glared at Kravitz, "You have got to be kidding me with this, babe. There's no way those are actually ghost peppers. Y'all are trying to fool Taako and it's not gonna work. What'd you do, huh? Maybe use illusion magic to make something look like ghost peppers? Something tame like green beans or carrots?"

Shrugging, Lup continued to chew on the best set-up she'd ever achieved and held one out for her brother to take. "Check it out," she said teasingly, knowing he wouldn't be able to resist. She could practically see the war in his brain. He couldn't believe that they were really ghost peppers, and so wouldn't be able to back down from a challenge to prove his point. On the other hand, she could see his hesitance. The anticipation was killing her! "I mean, unless you're a coward," she added.

His eyebrow twitched slightly, and she knew he was done for. 

Predictably, he snatched it out of her hand and shoved the entire thing into his mouth. A few painful moments passed where his expression moved through the seven stages of grief, and Lup had to try not to break into a fit of laughter. She kept a neutral expression as Taako's face grew red and sweaty, but he was determined not to give in and look weak. Before he could finish, she watched him spit the gross mush into a napkin and sprint out of the room gagging.

As she howled with laughter she felt a little guilty, knowing he was likely in a considerable amount of pain. She grabbed milk from the fridge and chased after him to help; it was only fair. She'd had her fun, and she'd apologize for hurting him, and she'd probably even promise not to do it again. 

But damn if it wasn't worth the look on his face!

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's not My Brand but I hope you enjoyed it! hmu to be friends!


End file.
